Therapy in Fort Worth, TX
Understanding a Highly Sensitive Person
Have you ever been told you’re very sensitive or emotional? Have you noticed feeling exhausted or overwhelmed after attending large events with loud noise and crowded areas, like weddings or concerts? Are you able to pick up on subtleties in your environment or how someone is feeling just by looking at them? You may be one of the 15-20% of the population that meets criteria for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait!
The HSP trait is not a diagnosable condition in the psychology world. It is a specific set of personality traits, with these traits being both genetically inherited and shaped by our life experiences. While it is not uncommon for people with depression or anxiety to meet criteria for the highly sensitive trait, the two are not exclusive- you can have one and not the other!
Finding out you’re highly sensitive can be a confusing and even a scary moment. What does it mean to be highly sensitive? According to Dr. Elaine Aron, author of “The Highly Sensitive Person”, the highly sensitive trait could better be described as “sensory processing sensitivity”. Everyone gathers and interprets information from the world, but HSPs are significantly more perceptive to their surroundings. Our senses even pick up on subtleties in our interactions with others in social situations. A great way I’ve heard it described is, “HSP’s not only focus on what’s being said- they also pick up on what’s being unsaid”. We pick up on body language and facial expressions faster and more intensely than non-HSPs.
Strengths You May have If You’re a Highly Sensitive Person
“This sounds exhausting”, you may be thinking. Sometimes it is! HSPs often need time alone to recharge and recenter, especially after large social gatherings or busy weeks at work. However, there are many positives to having this trait! Some include:
High levels of empathy. We automatically put ourselves in other people’s situations and feel what they’re feeling. This makes us naturally compassionate or nurturing friends and partners!
Highly perceptive. We can quickly determine someone’s emotional state and what they need in that moment from us, usually from body language or facial expression alone.
Increased attention to detail. We easily catch small mistakes on work or life projects. If you need a paper to be read over and edited, an HSP would be a great person to do so!
Excellent hosts/hostesses. HSPs can often tell what someone needs to make them more comfortable in their environment, like lowering the lights or turning down music or TV.
Lovers of the arts. Our high sensitivity makes us great friends to take along to concerts or museums. We are very moved by our favorite artists and musicians, often listening to music whenever we can.
Myths of a Highly Sensitive Person |Find a Therapist in Fort Worth, TX
Being highly sensitive can come with some stigma from those who don’t completely understand the meaning “sensitive”. When most people hear “This person is sensitive”, they usually think of someone who gets offended or upset very easily. This is a common myth of highly sensitive people. Remember, sensitivity refers to our brain’s way of processing information, not necessarily our entire personality. Here are a few other common myths of the highly sensitive person:
We’re extreme introverts/”antisocial”. Being an introvert is common in HSPs, but it is not a prerequisite! The majority of HSPs enjoy spending time with friends and loved ones just as much as a typical extrovert. HSPs just tend to feel higher levels of social fatigue after big events, meaning they need more time to unwind and relax before they’re ready to go to another big social gathering.
Being highly sensitive is bad, annoying, or unhelpful. Quite the opposite! We are very empathetic, compassionate, and intuitive. We’re highly observant to the world around us, particularly those we love.
HSPs only think with their emotions, not with logic. While we do tend to sway more to feeling rather than thinking, that doesn’t mean we don’t think at all. HSPs use logic every day through critical thinking to problem solve. The vast majority of HSPs don’t let their emotions run the show, because if we did, we know we would wear ourselves out! HSPs use logic and critical thinking along with how they’re feeling and what they think is the right and wrong things to do in any given situation. Keep in mind, emotions help us learn. If we didn’t have emotions, we would most likely be dead! Emotions are stored in our amygdala, an area of our brain’s limbic system housed just above our cerebellum. While the amygdala is our emotion center, it also plays a major role in sensing danger. If a fire were to start in your office, the amygdala would alert your nervous system that something is wrong. You would feel several emotions, like fear, shock, and panic. Your nervous system would respond accordingly, beginning the “fight or flight” process of getting your body ready to fight the threat or run away. All of this happens within half a millisecond!
Self-care for HSPs | Counseling in Fort Worth
Now that we have covered the HSP basics, let’s talk about self-care. Everyone needs to practice self-care to keep ourselves happy and healthy, but it’s especially important for those that are highly sensitive. Our compassionate demeanor often has us overextending ourselves for others, whether it’s clients from work, friends, family, etc. When we don’t refill our emotional battery, it is very easy for us to burn out and experience feelings of apathy or depression. What are some good ways to re-center and ground us after an emotionally exhausting day? Here are some ideas:
Practice guided breathing. Our bodies immediately respond to increased oxygen intake, which helps our nervous system return to baseline and out of “work stress” mode. Practice breathing in deeply for four counts, holding for four counts, and exhaling for four counts (what I call the square breath)!
Keep your body moving. Walking, running, yoga, pilates, hiking… Whatever calls to you the most! So long as you are getting at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise 3 times a week. Regular exercise can help regulate our emotion system and increase our stress management.
Journal your feelings. Sometimes it’s helpful to “word vomit” onto a word document or in a notebook to lay out and process feelings from the day.
Create and implement a solid bedtime routine. Another part of self-care is making sure we’re getting adequate sleep! Think about things you usually do before bed- Washing your face, brushing your teeth, and changing into your comfy pants are a given, but what else could you begin doing to help wind down? I’ve had many people share what works for them, including taking a warm bath, reading a book before bed rather than watching TV (we should be avoiding all screens 30 minutes before bedtime), and listening to relaxing music are all great options to add to your nightly routine. The more you stick to the routine, the easier it will be to fall asleep and stay asleep due to your brain and body picking up on “cues”, such as beginning to release melatonin when getting into a nightly bath.
Do things you enjoy! Read, paint, draw, build legos, do whatever hobby makes you feel good and fulfilled. Connect with friends or go on a walk around the neighborhood with your spouse. Watch a funny movie or your favorite show!
If you think you’re highly sensitive, you may be wondering what that means for you and what to do next. While counseling certainly isn’t required, it could be helpful to have a professional help you navigate through these feelings and give you tools to provide more insight and validation for your experience. There are also many resources regarding HSP, most notably Dr. Elaine Aron’s book I mentioned earlier. “The Highly Sensitive Person” explains this personality trait with real-life case studies from Dr. Aron’s counseling experiences.
Do you think you may be highly sensitive or know someone who is? If you search for “Highly Sensitive Person quiz”, you can find a free test to determine if you have this special trait! Or you can join me on my podcast, “The Highly Sensitive Podcast”, dedicated to HSPs and how to navigate through stress, struggles, and loud noises! If you would like to go further and address this topic with me, you can schedule a free consultation or email me at kate@reconnectingrelationships.com
Take good care of yourself and be well!