Couples Therapy in Fort Worth
Valentine’s Day has evolved over the years for me. What it meant in the beginning has changed over the course of being married to my husband twenty-two plus years and raising two daughters together. In the early years, there were nice, romantic candlelit dinners, sometimes just the two of us and sometimes double dates with friends. These were the years when we could be carefree and spontaneous.
One particular Valentine’s Day comes to mind as I reflect over the number of dates I’ve shared with my husband. My mother-in-law had to cancel last minute due to coming down with a cold and so she was unable to watch our two sweet little angels while we went out for dinner. I was so sad to have to cancel our plans. I was a stay-at-home mom at the time so I craved social outings and adult conversations. My husband sensed this was important to me and encouraged us to keep our plans. Let’s just bring the kids with us! Great idea! They were about 2 and 5. Have you tried going out to a nice restaurant with young kids? Well, we had not.
So, the evening went pretty much how you could presume with two young kids. We were seated at a lovely, white-linen adorned table in the middle of the restaurant. Just the perfect spot for everyone to take in our children’s glorious tantrums. Our girls lasted maybe 10 minutes before they made the place their own playground. Our attempts to wrangle them back into their seats only escalated the situation from total excitement to total meltdown.
Needless to say, we rushed through our meals, feeling stressed and embarrassed, and exited as quickly as we could. The night felt like a complete failure.
Of course it wasn’t a failure but simply a learning experience. I learned something about that night. I realized I had the expectation that Valentine’s Day was to be celebrated the same way it had always been celebrated. And when it didn’t work out, I was met with disappointment. I had to adjust to my life as it was changing and accept that for the time being the way I knew to spend this day was going to be different. And so we learned to be more creative in celebrating any special holiday.
What this holiday means to me now extends from the typical spotlight on my partner. Our Valentine’s Day celebrations have become more family oriented over the years and most often include our daughters. And thank goodness their table manners have improved! Valentine’s Day does not have to be about fancy dinners and spending it solely with your partner. It can include other activities with people you find to be valuable in your life - your best friend, a sibling, parent, or your kids . The real meaning of Valentines should be about acknowledging and appreciating all the special people in your life.