Forming New Habits

With the new year merely hours away, many people are considering making healthy changes for 2016.  Some choose to take up a cooking class or go skydiving, but on average most of us focus on making a health conscious effort to work out, stay away from processed foods, or quit smoking.  The latter is most difficult for us to conquer since these types of behaviors have become part of our lives for too long.  When attempting to make changes there are two things to consider in helping you reach your goals:  establishing a support system & changing your environment.

First of all, what is a habit?  It can be defined as something that we do often enough that eventually becomes automatic.  We make an association between the behavior and the goal.  “When I do this, I get that.” A pattern begins to emerge and in turn becomes a habit.  So, we eat a bag of cheesy popcorn after a long day at work.  It provides us with a sense of relief.  The next time we suffer another grueling day, we are more likely to turn to that bag of gold to cheer us up.  After a while, we learn that eating cheese spray popcorn makes us feel better.

Now you want to break the bad habit.  

1. Support System -  Get a buddy system set up.  A research study reported that couples who supported each other and committed to making the same changes together were more successful than those who did not.  Holding each other accountable can be helpful in staying on track.  Also, it can be nice to know that you can relate to each other and have a good understanding of the level of difficulty you may each be experiencing.  Having someone join you while working at a new behavior can also make it more fun than going at it alone.  Set small, realistic goals, and celebrate as you accomplish each one.  Ask your partner or find a friend who is looking to make similar changes to increase your success rate!

2. Change in Environment – When dealing with an old habit, chances are you are stuck in a routine or pattern.  In order to tackle this problem, it may be necessary to change your surroundings.  Cues exist in a pattern to elicit the old habit.  These cues serve as reminders to perform the habit.  You can trick and alter the cue by changing your environment.  Research has demonstrated that moving to another city or going on vacation are great ways to form new habits since the same environmental cues no longer exist, so pay attention to when and how the habit occurs.  For instance, if you find that you need comforting after a hard day at work, put that cheesy popcorn on the highest pantry shelf!  Place more desirable products at front and center.  Basically, make it easier to do the things you want to do and harder to do the things you no longer wish to continue.

Changing a bad habit into a good habit will take time and patience.  Studies have shown that new habits can take anywhere from 15 to 254 days to be fully established.  The key is to repeat new behaviors until they become as stable as the ones prior to them.  At the same time, allow for slip ups.  Habits are not easy to break and you may find yourself guilt-ridden over the cheese spray coma you are experiencing.  It is okay.  Give yourself a break.  You will start again the next day.  

Good luck!  I wish you the best! And have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Where Did The Summer Go?

Guess what time is quickly approaching…yep! Back to School!!!  

My daughters are beginning new schools this year.  One begins high school while the other starts middle school.  However, I worry more about my 11 year old since the changes from elementary to middle school can be more pronounced.  All of a sudden, kids now have to manage their own schedules, decide where to sit for lunch, and designate their own study time all while trying to make new friends, navigating through an unfamiliar, larger school, and taking on an increased workload.

So here are some areas to consider in easing your child’s anticipation for the new school year experience.  While these are mainly geared toward middle schoolers, they can easily be applied to any student.  

PLANNING AND PREPARATION

Oftentimes, it’s the straightforward information that can be most helpful.  Planning ahead of time can cut back on frustration and anxiety on the part of both parent and child.  

Consider attending an orientation.  Before school begins, get a copy of your child’s class schedule and explore the school layout so your child can become familiar with the new setting.  Walk your kid to each class and locate the closest restrooms.  Kids can be given as little as 4 minutes between classes.

Buy a lock and practice the new combination.  There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to unlock a locker when you are crunched for time and you have to remember how to get to your next class.  Have him or her practice the lock and memorize the combination.

Make copies of pertinent information.  Kids have to juggle a ton of information in that first week.  Make sure to supply your child with two copies of their class schedule in case they lose one.  Also, make sure they have the necessary information regarding bus and lunch schedules.      

THE SCHOOL WORK

With each new stage in a kid’s school career, there is the expectation that class work becomes more difficult.  Of course, there is nothing we can do as parents to unload them of this burden, but there are things we can do to help them increase their efficiency and productivity.  

Practice time management & organization skills.  Buy your child a planner and/or calendar.  Assist him or her in scheduling due dates for projects and homework.  Purchase post-it notes, index cards, and highlighters for organizing and building study skills.  

Set realistic academic goals.  Let them know that you are proud of their efforts more so than the grade.  Reward them accordingly.  I am not a big believer in paying for grades but instead rewarding kids through appreciation and acknowledgment.  Kids are quite capable of doing well in school.  It’s the times they struggle that we need to pay attention to how we respond.  Ask yourself:  Was the grade acceptable for the type of work that was performed?  Are my academic expectations for my child reasonable?  And, how can I teach or guide my child to make improvements?   

Keep an open dialogue with your kid’s teachers.  Communication between parent and teacher is essential in helping your child through challenging times.  A teacher can keep you tuned in to what goes on in school before something becomes a situation.  

Encourage socializing.  While it’s not a great idea to talk in class, it is wise to exchange email addresses or phone numbers with another student in each class.  There will be times when your kid will miss class and having a fellow student who can communicate class assignments can help your kid from falling behind.

MAKING FRIENDS

First day of school can be intimidating for kids especially when they are the new kid.  This is a great time to talk with them about their expectations and discuss past experiences.  When anxiety becomes prominent in a child’s mind, he or she may forget their own successes from previous school years.

Encourage extracurricular activities.  Making new friends can be a daunting task but getting your child involved in sports or an afterschool organization can ease their woes of being an outsider.  Just make sure it’s an activity your child enjoys.  

Plan weekend hangouts.   If your kid is at a new school, chances are, they miss a friend from their previous school.  Allow your child to reconnect with old friends over the weekend.  Also, show support for new, budding relationships by inviting new friends over after school or on the weekends.      

Consider emotional growth.  Keep in mind that with all the new changes taking place, your kid is dealing with one that needs to be taken into account.  Puberty!  Yes this is a fun one!  Even the sweetest of kids can turn into scary little creatures.  Be sympathetic and understanding.  Sometimes they just need to feel supported and accepted.    

I hope these tips help you in the new school year!  Remember you are their #1 teacher.  YOU have the ability to influence your kid’s new school year experience.  Good luck and have a great year!