“When women are heard, mothers and daughters are able to listen to each other”
Family Therapy in Fort Worth | The Mother and Daughter Bond
During a conference I attended, it came to my attention that there is something unique about the mother-daughter relationship. In my years of practicing as a therapist in Fort Worth, I have had opportunities to see both mother and daughter in my office, and I noticed that they often struggled to connect. I had never realized that there was something deeper and special about how mothers and daughters relate to each other.
Changes in Womanhood
Expectations and roles used to be unchanging for women until in the last few years. In past generations we have seen the transition from women being stay at home mothers to entering the workfield. Women now have more educational and professional opportunities which has allowed them to take different paths than in previous generations. Women now consider not marrying or not having children which is completely opposite and not viewed as traditional. Nonetheless, these changes are difficult to accept or understand for many, especially women who did not experience these new options. Take a moment to reflect on a moment in which you shared a different belief or perspective to your mother or even grandmother. Or also think about a time where you craved emotional connection from your mother during a difficult time. How did they respond? Were they able to support you or try to understand you? Or has there been conflict due to your differing perspectives or your need for validation and empathy?
Mothers and Daughters | Therapy in Fort Worth, TX
You might be wondering what a session with a mother and daughter would look like or what topics would be addressed. According to the therapist Rosjke Hasseldine, expert on the mother daughter relationship and author of “The Mother-Daughter Puzzle”, she believes that we should look into our past generations and patterns of how women are treated in our families. Our families influence our beliefs and how we perceive the world. Discovering destructive generational patterns is also an important piece to understanding how mother’s and daughters relate to each other.
Exploring how men in our families have treated our mothers or grandmothers is not to shame or blame. Nevertheless, we want to understand how those behaviors have impacted what it means to be a woman. This helps us understand how women in our families perceive having their needs met or expressing their emotions. From doing this inner work, we can discover if there has been a history of neglected needs or people pleasing. Some female clients have discovered that their mother’s depend emotionally on them, which continues the pattern of daughters having to fill the emotional void for their mothers and having to be selfless. Jealousy in mother and daughter relationships can also be a factor to explore. A good example of how jealousy can play a role in these relationships can be if a mother is desiring the same opportunities that her daughter now has. A mother might struggle in celebrating the accomplishments of her daughter that she would have wanted for herself. On other occasions it might be difficult to accept that daughters have taken a different path than what is expected of women in their families based not only on family expectations but also culturally. These situations can cause mothers and daughters to drift apart and remain stuck in conflict. Our Fort Worth therapists can help you work through these situations.
Therapy in Fort Worth for our future mothers and daughters
Moving forward, we want to forge a path for our future daughters and mothers in which they can listen to each other and connect. It is our responsibility to look into our history and how we can work on changing destructive generational patterns. We want for mothers and daughters to be able to understand and uplift each other. That mothers and daughters support each other in accomplishing their desires and to take care of their needs. If you are a mother to a daughter what would you have wanted from your mother that you now want to be for your daughter? If you are a daughter, what unhealthy themes would you like to change? If you are interested in learning more about healing the mother and daughter relationship feel free to schedule a free 15 minute consultation or to set up a session. You can also reach me at my email lilian@reconnectingrelationships.com
Let’s make a change! - Lilian