Goodbye 2020

As we get ready to ring in the New Year, we begin to look back on this crazy year of the COVID pandemic.  I, like the rest, have begun to look back on my year and have noticed I had to change my perspective to see that some pretty spectacular things have happened!  I remember being touched when I read a quote that stated 2020 was the year we stopped taking things for granted and instead began seeing the things we are grateful for.  Let’s take a look at my new perspective on what I can be grateful for. 

•  For many years now my life has been routinely chaotic with working two jobs.  I never felt as though I got to spend much time at home.  2020 was the year I can no longer say that!

•  I was, and still am, fortunate to still have the ability to work two jobs as technology has been very helpful in this department.

• I was able to learn a whole new way of connecting with people through the telephone and video chat (although it’s not the same as human interaction!).

• I learned there is a plethora of fun internet activities to keep children entertained and found new ways to share books with children. 

• I am very grateful for my healthy immune system as I have not tested positive for COVID (so keep your mask on and social distance!!!).

• I am grateful for my loved ones as they too have been able to stay healthy.  I also recognized that I may have taken our time together for granted as I was not able to enjoy spending the holidays with every family member!

• Lastly, I am very grateful for the opportunity to begin sharing my life with my partner as we start to build our future together!

There are so many other things to be grateful for as well!  As we go in to 2021, I work on not setting my expectations too high as it may be somewhat of a repeat of 2020.  However, I will go into the New Year with a new perspective and will continue counting the things I am grateful for and open my eyes to no longer take things for granted!  As you review your year of 2020, I challenge you to change your perspective and find things you are grateful for! 

Back to School: Talking to Your Teen Student During Coronavirus

I can hardly believe it is August!  And while school is just around the corner, this year proves to be one full of uncertainty.  I have a teen attending a Fort Worth ISD school and another returning for her second year to a Texas university. Over the last few months, their schools have continued to send them updates on plans and ideas for the new school year, but it is apparent that anything can change suddenly.  And, this in itself can create anxiety and stress for both parent and student. 

As a Fort Worth mom, I understand my daughters each face some challenges with returning to school. Each will have to figure out ways to adjust with the ongoing changes the schools are likely to make as the academic year commences.  Some kids will be attending classes online while others return to an in-class setting.  And then there are some students who will be juggling both types of schooling.  Many schools are communicating a need to change course of action if COVID-19 becomes more problematic and are making parents and students aware of the possible interruptions to learning. 

So as a parent what can you do to help your student through the academic year? 

A lot can be offered by listening to your teen and sharing dialogue that feels collaborative and mutual.  Here are some helpful topics to cover before and throughout the school year. 

Talk openly about anxious feelings.  Express to your teen that it is okay to feel anxious and concerned, however assess your own feelings so that your kid does not take them on as his or her own.  As you share your own worries do allow your teen to ask questions and provide feedback.

Discuss expectations.  Ask your student what he or she might expect from their upcoming school year.  Your teen might have expectations about their online or in-class experience. Inquire how your teen might feel if those expectations do not play out. 

Offer support and understanding.  Validate your teen’s experience.  As parents we may have our own worries about the school year but our perspective can differ from the student.  While academics are certainly being affected, your teen might express more concern for the lack of social activity which is highly important at this age and should not be disregarded. 

Explore coping strategies.  Remind your teen of helpful ways to cope with stress and anxiety.  What has he or she practiced in the past that has been useful in getting through tough times?  Encourage your student to get plenty of rest, exercise, and maintain a healthy diet. 

Discuss appropriate safety measures.  Over the past few months, you and your family have probably learned some ways to stay safe by wearing masks, washing hands often, applying hand sanitizer when in public areas, etc.  Talk with your kids about how to translate those habits into the school environment if they are planning to attend classes or head back to college campus.     

Consider a backup plan. Prepare for the likelihood of a quarantine or shelter in place.  Discuss with your student how this event might alter plans and expectations. Talking ahead of time about how to make the transition can lessen anxiety and offer some stability and structure.

It’s important to acknowledge that our students are facing unique challenges during this time.  It’s okay that we don’t always have the answers.  Our teens don’t necessarily need us to have the answers.  What they need is for us to listen and offer support as we all work to getting on steadier ground.  Stay safe everyone!