FINDING SERENITY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

How can we improve our mental health and reduce anxiety during the Holidays?

Before we dive into the topic, get comfortable and take a deep breath for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, and release the breath and any negative energy you feel for a count of 6.  Repeat this simple box breathing exercise slowly 4 to 6 times in a row to manage stress and anxiety, lower your heartrate, and improve your focus, concentration and state of mind.  You can practice box breathing anytime you have a quiet space and five minutes during the holidays to set your positive intentions and relax.

Why Does My Anxiety Increase During the Holidays?

Top 10 Stressors Include:

1.  Financial pressure and concerns – buying gifts, outfits, food, decorations, travel, holiday shows and buying tickets, and the cost of throwing parties and hosting holiday events

2.  Anxiety over decision-making – for example, choosing gifts, who to invite to Thanksgiving or holiday gatherings, and who not to invite in certain cases

3. Feeling rushed and overscheduled

4. Family dynamics extending to our family of origin and distant relatives we see less often

5. Overwhelming commercialism and holiday hype everywhere we turn

6. Isolation and lack of emotional support can lead to feeling depressed and emotionally dysregulation

7. Food – buying it, cooking it, and overeating as a coping mechanism

8. Social Media related anxiety – comparing to others on SM and what they are buying and doing during the Holidays can trigger thoughts like “their family looks perfect”, “I am not good enough”, “I wish I could afford to buy a car for my wife like they can”, for example

9. Other shoppers, huge crowds, and traffic on busy shopping days like Black Friday 

10. Recent situational holiday stressors include lingering health and safety issues initiated by COVID or other illnesses, large family gatherings, and the possibility of political discussions or disagreements with friends and family members this year in 2024

COPING STRATEGIES TO REDUCE STRESS, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

• Simple Earth Grounding – INSTRUCTIONS 

Lie flat on the floor and consider the ground beneath you. This can be done inside or outside in the shade or sun. Conceptualize how the ground is holding you up and think, “the Earth is always there for me”.  The heaviness you feel is gravity, pulling you and holding you to the Earth.  Focus and sense the back of your lungs and let yourself draw breaths from the back of your lungs closest to the ground.  Imagine the Earth is meeting you right where you are and allow the Earth to breath with you.  Imagine the Earth is a giant lung breathing into your lungs and rejuvenating you.  The Earth is kind, gentle, and taking her time to breath with you and into you.  Note how you slow down, how your breath expands, and how your belly softens.  Note how your mind slows down and how grounded and connected to the Earth you are feeling.  Notice your sense of well-being has returned (Mischke-Reeds, 2018). 

*This exercise can be located in the Somatic Psychotherapy Toolbox, written by Manuela Mischke-Reeds, MA, LMFT and purchased online through Amazon or other retailers. (https://www.amazon.com/s?k=somatic+psychotherapy+toolbox&hvadid=598656745912&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9027255&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=4003203966055240108&hvtargid=kwd-483023752693&hydadcr=15529_13558536&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_18d117kex8_e). 

• Taking care of yourself is essential during the Holiday Season.  Here are a few self-care techniques:

1.  Avoid overscheduling yourself – saying “no” to certain events or activities during the Holiday is essential self-care.  Do not feel guilty for creating space for a break when you need it.

2. Add self-care to your calendar and follow-through including physical exercise, meditation breaks, and taking a walk with a friend.

3. Use affirmative thoughts when feeling anxious or stressed such as “Let it go.”  “I am whole, relaxed, and free of worry.”  

If you are spiritually inclined, an affirmative thought might be, “I release this anxiety and stress to God or to my Higher Power.”

1. If a wave of depression or anxiety is coming your way, journaling your feelings or writing out a gratitude list daily can help process your emotions and remind you of what you are thankful for during the Holiday Season.

2. Avoid isolating and talk to a professional counselor or therapist including but not limited to an LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) or an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor).  

WE ARE HERE TO HELP AT RECONNECTING RELATIONSHIPS THERAPY

Kandace Williamson, LMFT Associate – Supervised by Ryan Lloyd, Ph.D.

I hope you found this blog helpful in your journey towards healing.  If you are experiencing trauma, anxiety, depression, or fear surrounding the holidays, therapy in Fort Worth may be beneficial for you.  And, if you are seeking couples counseling, individual therapy, teen therapy, or family therapy, Reconnecting Relationships Therapy can help!  Please feel free to visit our website and research my profile and our other therapist’s profiles to learn more and find the right fit for you and your needs.  Making an appointment online is simple and our website is easy to navigate and will guide you through the steps.  Take care. 

Back to School: Talking to Your Teen Student During Coronavirus

I can hardly believe it is August!  And while school is just around the corner, this year proves to be one full of uncertainty.  I have a teen attending a Fort Worth ISD school and another returning for her second year to a Texas university. Over the last few months, their schools have continued to send them updates on plans and ideas for the new school year, but it is apparent that anything can change suddenly.  And, this in itself can create anxiety and stress for both parent and student. 

As a Fort Worth mom, I understand my daughters each face some challenges with returning to school. Each will have to figure out ways to adjust with the ongoing changes the schools are likely to make as the academic year commences.  Some kids will be attending classes online while others return to an in-class setting.  And then there are some students who will be juggling both types of schooling.  Many schools are communicating a need to change course of action if COVID-19 becomes more problematic and are making parents and students aware of the possible interruptions to learning. 

So as a parent what can you do to help your student through the academic year? 

A lot can be offered by listening to your teen and sharing dialogue that feels collaborative and mutual.  Here are some helpful topics to cover before and throughout the school year. 

Talk openly about anxious feelings.  Express to your teen that it is okay to feel anxious and concerned, however assess your own feelings so that your kid does not take them on as his or her own.  As you share your own worries do allow your teen to ask questions and provide feedback.

Discuss expectations.  Ask your student what he or she might expect from their upcoming school year.  Your teen might have expectations about their online or in-class experience. Inquire how your teen might feel if those expectations do not play out. 

Offer support and understanding.  Validate your teen’s experience.  As parents we may have our own worries about the school year but our perspective can differ from the student.  While academics are certainly being affected, your teen might express more concern for the lack of social activity which is highly important at this age and should not be disregarded. 

Explore coping strategies.  Remind your teen of helpful ways to cope with stress and anxiety.  What has he or she practiced in the past that has been useful in getting through tough times?  Encourage your student to get plenty of rest, exercise, and maintain a healthy diet. 

Discuss appropriate safety measures.  Over the past few months, you and your family have probably learned some ways to stay safe by wearing masks, washing hands often, applying hand sanitizer when in public areas, etc.  Talk with your kids about how to translate those habits into the school environment if they are planning to attend classes or head back to college campus.     

Consider a backup plan. Prepare for the likelihood of a quarantine or shelter in place.  Discuss with your student how this event might alter plans and expectations. Talking ahead of time about how to make the transition can lessen anxiety and offer some stability and structure.

It’s important to acknowledge that our students are facing unique challenges during this time.  It’s okay that we don’t always have the answers.  Our teens don’t necessarily need us to have the answers.  What they need is for us to listen and offer support as we all work to getting on steadier ground.  Stay safe everyone!