Attachment Styles and Relationship Success

According to attachment theory, there are three primary dimensions that characterize our attachment styles and patterns.

1. Closeness: How comfortable we are being emotionally close and intimate with others. 

2. Dependence/avoidance: How comfortable we are depending on others and having others depend on us. 

3. Anxiety: How often do we worry our partners will abandon and/or reject us. 

Attachment theory studies patterns in our friendships, bonds between parent and child, and romantic relationships. Our attachment style is developed during childhood with our caregivers and influences the way we connect to others in future relationships. 

People who experience higher attachment-related anxiety are more often concerned with if others really love them and often fear rejection. Meanwhile, other people experience higher attachment-related avoidance. These people are less comfortable depending on and being vulnerable to others.

Attachment Styles

Media in pop culture has sold the idea that relationships should be created on sentimentality and romantic gestures of love. These fairy tales have contributed to unreasonable expectations of love and partnership, sometimes even glorifying unrealistic attachments in our romantic relationships. Although entertaining, these depictions of love are unrealistic and often trap us in expectations so high that we push others away without meaning to. Romantic relationships are particularly vulnerable to such strains. However, real-life relationships can be repaired, and secure attachments can be created. 

We often show more behaviors related to a specific attachment style. However, we may exhibit some patterns from all the attachment styles. Our attachment patterns may also differ depending on the type of relationship (friend, parent, child, romantic partner), as well as the other person’s attachment style. Below you will see common characteristics of the different attachment styles. 

Anxious Attachment Style: Low avoidance, high anxiety.

• More often insecure in intimate relationships; frequently concerned with rejection and/or abandonment.

• May ruminate on unresolved past issues from family-of-origin; this may intrude into current perceptions of relationships. 

• Can be overly sensitive to partner’s actions and moods; may take partner’s behavior personally. 

• Can be argumentative, critical, or combative; often unaware of personal responsibility in relationships and blames others.  

Avoidant Attachment Style: High avoidance, low anxiety. 

• Typically uncomfortable with closeness and values independence.

• May not be worried about partner’s availability.

• Communication can be intellectual; may not be comfortable voicing emotions.

• Often avoids conflict.

Secure Attachment Style: Low avoidance, low anxiety. 

• Comfortable with intimacy and are not often worried about being rejected by their partner. 

• Depends on their partner and allows their partner to depend on them; is available and responsive in times of need. 

• Accepts partner’s need for separateness without feelings threatened or rejected.

• Regulates emotions well and communicates emotions honestly.  

Attachment Styles and Adult Relationships 

Attachment patterns are often passed down from one generation to the next as children learn from parents and caregivers how to connect to others. Our attachment history plays an important role in how we relate in adult romantic relationships, as well as how we relate to our own children. Our attachment styles impact our intimate relationships in several significant ways:

• How we perceive and handle closeness and emotional intimacy.

• Our ability to communicate emotions and needs, as well as how we listen to and understand the emotions and needs of our partner.

• How we respond to conflict.

• Our expectations for our partner and the relationship. 

To seek secure connection in relationships, partners in distress can become stuck in failed attempts to regulate attachment-related insecurities by using anxiety and/or avoidant strategies. Unfortunately, these strategies often ironically reinforce attachment-related insecurity. When our own attachment-related insecurities collide with our partner’s insecurities, we get caught in negative cycles of interacting. 

Creating Secure Attachment with Your Partner

Studies have found connections between attachment styles and romantic relationship satisfaction. People with secure attachment in romantic relationships are more likely to view their partner as being responsive to their needs, which influences satisfaction, investment, and commitment in romantic relationships. Therefore, secure attachment can help strengthen commitment between partners and support feelings of satisfaction in intimate relationships.  

Secure attachment is foundational in fulfilling and meaningful relationships. It promotes trust, emotional connection, and safety with our partner. Developing secure attachment with our partner not only benefits the relationship, but also improves our own sense of self and personal well-being. 

Here are a few ways you can start to move towards secure attachment with your partner and create more meaningful connections with others: 

• Self-Awareness: Start by understanding your attachment style patterns in important relationships. Take time to explore your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in your relationships. Reflect on your own attachment patterns and identify any insecurities. Through self-awareness, you can better understand your needs, preferences, and emotions.

• Improve Emotional Regulation: Learn to recognize, acknowledge, and regulate your emotions in constructive ways. Practice self-soothing during conflict and at times your insecurities arise. Emotional regulation allows you to bring safety to your relationships. 

• Open Communication: Express your needs, desires, and concerns with respect and honesty. Listen to your partner to understand their perspective with empathy and curiosity. Allow your partner to express their feelings without judgement or criticism.

• Be Emotionally Available: This means being attuned to the emotions and needs of your partner. Offer support and validation when your partner shares vulnerabilities with you. Being emotionally available builds trust with your partner. 

Therapy Services | Fort Worth, Texas

Amy Coryell, LMFT-Associate, Supervised by Tanya Alexander, LMFT-S

If you are interested in further exploring attachment styles and creating secure attachments in your relationships with a Fort Worth therapist, you can schedule a free consultation with me through the link below or email me at amy@reconnectingrelationships.com

EMDR 101 – When is EMDR a Useful Tool in Therapy? The Answer Might Surprise You.

What is EMDR?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) was originated and developed by an American psychologist, Francine Shapiro, Ph.D. in 1987. Shapiro was taking a walk in the park and noticed that eye movements seemed to decrease her own negative emotions linked to her personal traumatic memories (Shapiro, 1989). From there, the research began and grew. EMDR has traditionally been used by trained therapists to treat PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorders) and past trauma. Veterans and first-responders such as law enforcement, firefighters, paramedics, doctors, nurses, eyewitnesses and others working in emergency situations may find EMDR therapy beneficial to process recent or past traumatic events (https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr-therapy-layperson/).

However, did you know that recent studies indicate EMDR is effective in also treating depression, anxiety, phobias not induced by trauma, addiction, and eating disorders?

UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA

Trauma can surface for you in the following ways:

• a single incident

• multiple events throughout life (complex trauma)

• OFTEN INVOLVES RELATIONSHIP TRAUMA

• physical or sexual abuse

• childhood neglect

• verbal or emotional abuse

WHAT ALSO FALLS UNDER THE CATEGORY OF “A TRAUMATIC EVENT”?

We experience trauma involving our relationships in the form of an extramarital affair, a separation or divorce, the death or illness of a child or family member, addictions including gambling, pornography, drugs and alcohol, sexual dysfunction, family of origin trauma or abuse, and yes…even negative communication, or miscommunication patterns in our relationships.

HOW DOES EMDR WORK?

Sometimes, our brain will lock in a memory with an original image, sound, feeling, smell, or thought. Since that memory is locked in the brain, it continues to be triggered when we are reminded of the distressing cue. Fear, negative emotions, helplessness, discomfort, and loss of control are often connected to the traumatic memory. The tools we use in EMDR can loosen and rewire the brain’s pathways (much like REM sleep patterns) and the memory eventually feels different, lighter, and further away. Our feelings and emotions associated with the memory are forever changed for the better. In other words, our brains do the work.

WHAT CAN I EXPECT DURING AN EMDR THERAPY SESSION?

There are eight phases in EMDR therapy and remember, each case is unique. The phases of EMDR include:

1. The therapist taking a complete history with you and a treatment plan is explored.

2. The therapist prepares you and explains how EMDR works, addressing your concerns and questions.

3. You will identify the event you decide to reprocess with your therapist, including sights, smells, sounds, sensations, and your core beliefs surrounding the memory.

4.   You will actively process the target memory using bilateral stimulation.  This phase may include the therapist guiding you in one or more of the following techniques to stimulate bilateral brain activity during memory processing:

a. You may be asked to cross your arms touching your opposite shoulder, taking turns tapping each shoulder back and forth

b. Following the therapist’s finger back and forth in front of your face with your eyes

c. Holding tappers in your hands that vibrate one at a time for bilateral stimulation

d. If the therapist has a light bar, you may be asked to track the light on the light bar back and forth with your eyes, much like following a tennis match

e. Sounds and tones in each ear using headphones may be added or used independently

f. These techniques can be used in person or during telehealth sessions online

5. Installation – fortifying and reinforcing the positive belief you want to connect with the target memory or event.

6. The therapist will ask you to do a body scan from head to toe while thinking about the target event and your new positive feeling or belief. During this phase, you will process any remaining discomfort you may feel in your body and mind.

7. Closure – your therapist will assist you in returning to your safe, calm place in the present moment, where hopefully you feel more neutral about the target event, and you sense and are aware that the new positive belief feels completely true to you.

8. Reevaluation is the last phase. You and your therapist recount recently reprocessed memories at the beginning of each session, validating that distress is still low and the positive belief is still true for you (https://www.emdria.org/blog/the-eight-phases-of-emdr-therapy/).

Kandace Williamson, LMFT-Associate, Supervised by Ryan Lloyd, PhD, LMFT-S

I hope you found this blog helpful in your journey towards healing. If you are experiencing trauma, anxiety, depression, or PTSD regarding past memories or specific events, seeking EMDR therapy in Fort Worth may be beneficial for you. And, if you are seeking couples counseling, individual therapy, teen therapy, or family therapy, Reconnecting Relationships Therapy can help! Please feel free to visit our website and research my profile and our other therapist’s profiles to learn more and find the right fit for you and your needs. Making an appointment online is simple and our website is easy to navigate and will guide you through the steps. Take care.

Finding the Right Therapist in Fort Worth

Finding the Right Therapist in Fort Worth

For someone first embarking on their mental health journey, the task of finding the right therapist may seem daunting. There are so many words, licenses, and ideologies to navigate which may be unfamiliar to someone who hasn’t explored them before. One may not understand the importance of finding the right therapist, assuming they all do the same work. Alternatively, they may not trust any therapists and write off the experience entirely as not being for them.

Therapy is a great tool that one can use to work through your emotions, relationships with others, and behaviors. Speaking as a student interested in becoming a therapist, I recommend therapy to pretty much everyone I know. However, it cannot be as effective for the client if their therapist isn’t a good match. If you are beginning your search for a therapist or counselor in Fort Worth, Texas, these are some great characteristics to keep in mind during your search.

Types of Therapy in Fort Worth Texas

There are many types of therapy and different specialties that therapists choose to pursue.  Don’t be afraid to ask questions when looking for potential therapists. Learn about their experience working with clients who have had the same challenges as you. If you are seeking counseling for a specific experience, you may want to look into a specialist with knowledge focused on that specific topic. Therapists are trained in different ways in order to treat different populations. If you are looking for couples or family counseling, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) is trained to work with those clients. Different counselors can use different techniques in sessions as well. Some focus on talk therapy, mindfulness practices, or emotional awareness. Different techniques can be helpful to different clients depending on the individual and their need. 

Therapy and Personal Values

Your personal values are important in all of your relationships, and in a therapist, it can be just as important. While your therapist doesn’t have to have an exact match to your personal values, it can help the two of you connect and create a better relationship. Some people may choose to seek a therapist which follows the same religion or has similar life experiences so that they can feel well understood. Feeling safe and comfortable with your therapist can facilitate more impactful sessions. Keep your most important personal values in mind when selecting a therapist. But, a good therapist will do their best to put any differences aside for the sake of the client-therapist relationship.

Finding a Therapist in Fort Worth | Cost of Therapy

A common limiting factor to people seeking therapy is the cost of treatment. Finding a therapist that is able to work within your budget is extremely important. If you have insurance, search for a therapist within your network so that you can find the best match for you. Therapy ranges in cost depending on where and who you are receiving it from. Private practices often charge a higher rate than a community clinic may. Working with insurance, programs, and benefits from school or work can help to lower the cost and make therapy more accessible.

How do I find a therapist in Fort Worth?

Once you know what you’re looking for, how do you find a potential therapist? If you already know someone attending therapy who has had a good experience, word of mouth can be a great way to begin the journey. Who you decide to book with could also depend on your school or work and what benefits they provide. If you’re looking online, some great sites are GoodTherapy.org and PsychologyToday.com.

Another great place to find a therapist is at Reconnecting Relationships Therapy located in Fort Worth, Texas. We have therapists available for booking, all with different fields of interest and experience. To learn more about them and find the perfect match head to our Find Your Therapist page.

Blog Contributor, Samara Schultz, is a recent psychology major graduate. She received her Bachelor of Science from the University of North Texas in May 2024. She is currently the social media assistant for RRT as she continues to explore a career in mental health, community service, and political science.

The Misconception: LMFTs only work with Couples and Families

LMFTs | Therapy in Fort Worth, TX

A common myth that we often see in our Fort Worth therapy practice is that we, LMFTs, (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists), only work with couples or families.  I can understand the confusion, since it’s stated right there in our title!  However, we DO see individuals.  And personally, I love it! 

Some clients are not always seeking relationship help but instead want to solely focus on a concern related to depression, anxiety, addiction, self-esteem, etc.  These are all areas that LMFTs can do good work in.  MFTs are all different.  They can specialize in different areas, work with a diverse population, and use a variety of approaches to conduct therapy. 

At the same time, while these topics may seem individual, as LMFTs we are trained to make connections in a social or relational context.  We make note that the issues an individual struggles with can affect how they relate with others and how others relate to them.  This can be useful in therapy to help nurture personal growth and expand on the client’s skillset. 

Therapists in Fort Worth, TX - The MFT Perspective

Our most unique attribute as a marriage and family therapist is the way we look at problems.  We are trained to look at situations with a systemic perspective.  We consider the environment the individual has experienced.  And we keep in mind, how our individual client also affects others. 

And boy, do we like exploring circular patterns!  We challenge the typical linear way of examining an issue so there is a more well-rounded overview of how the problem presents itself.  Most issues are cyclical so identifying old patterns is paramount in forming new, healthy, and effective patterns.

Couples Therapy as an Individual

There have been plenty of times when I have spoken to a potential client and they share with me that they don’t believe their partner is willing to attend couples therapy.  I can hear their frustration and disappointment in their voice.  They worry that if their partner is unable or unwilling to attend, then what other option is there?  How else can their relationship improve?  They feel stuck believing change can only occur if they can get their partner to attend couple’s therapy. 

However, change can still occur.  An individual can enter into therapy to address the issues they are experiencing in their relationship.  They can receive support while also gaining tools to improve how they communicate and respond to issues with their partner. 

Want to Learn More about family therapy in Fort worth?

If you are seeking couples or family therapy in Fort Worth, then a marriage and family therapist makes sense.  But if you’re looking for individual therapy, well we can do that too! Please feel free to browse through our therapist profiles to learn more about each one of our unique Fort Worth therapists!

Two Sides to Couples Conflict

Therapy for Couples in Fort Worth, TX

As a therapist, I am aware of the many coping strategies, communication tools, and de-escalation tactics that I have at my disposal to help me through times of conflict with my partner.  However, I haven’t always known how to deal with relationship problems.  And even with all my training and my years of practicing these tools, I can easily fall prey to unconstructive old habits. 

During a particular disagreement with my husband, I knew very well just what to say to really annoy him.  Most of the time, I acknowledge and am aware of what hurtful, punch-to-the gut thing I can say to really get to him.  But I also understand I will probably not get the response I want so I refrain from saying that annoying thing. 

However, this time I plowed through and said “F-it, I’m going for it!”  My feelings got the best of me. 

Being the sweet husband he is, I watched as he took in a deep breath and instead of one-upping me, he responded with acknowledgment of my hurt.  After further discussing our issue, I confessed to him that I was fully aware of my intent to hurt him back. I apologized.

How did I get away with this bad behavior?  John Gottman, couples researcher and clinician, proposes a 5:1 ratio is key in maintaining homeostasis in a relationship.  For every one negative interaction, we need five positive interactions to keep us feeling balanced in a relationship.  More often than not, we need to be good to each other.  This allowed me to have my moment, not a fabulous moment, but nonetheless, a human one.    

The other thing I did was acknowledge my behavior and apologize shortly after I was able to cool down.  Making repairs is so important!  And even though I was the hurt partner, I still played a role in how our conflict would emerge and come to a resolution.  He made his repair and so did I. 

You can protect your relationship by making sure you’re engaging with your partner in positive ways most of the time. We can never get away from conflict altogether, but we can make decisions to be more cognizant in the ways we contribute to conflict and being proactive to maintain a trusting and loving relationship.

Our Therapists in Fort Worth can help. Book today!

Give Trust

What is a relationship without trust?  Will a relationship be successful without trust?  Does trust have to go both ways?  What do you have in a relationship if you do not have trust?  Trust is pivotal in relationships and is usually seen as a part of the foundation of a relationship.  Trust can be lost in many ways.  Perhaps trust was lost when an embarrassing story was told about you.  Or maybe when something hidden has been revealed.  Most commonly, trust is lost when we have been betrayed.  Once that trust is lost, we feel powerless and vulnerable.  We can oftentimes feel so powerless and vulnerable that we begin to question whether that trust can be restored.  We are resilient creatures and therefore can bounce back and handle things we seem to think we cannot.  “But how?” may be your next question.

I grew up, like many others, hearing, “you have to earn my trust” or “you have to earn back your trust.”  Then, one day, I came across this quote, “trust isn’t something that you earn, it’s something that you give” (Richard Fagerlin).  This really got me thinking and questioning the way I thought trust was restored; then, it all started to make sense.  One of the many reasons trust should be given and not earned is because when trust is earned, we begin to keep score.  When score is being kept in a relationship no one ever wins, and it creates a division or the sense that someone is better than the other.  When we work from the concept that trust should be earned, we may also be setting unreasonably high standards that can never be achieved, or we start low and continuously raise those standards in order for them to not be met.

Giving our trust to someone is a choice that we must make for ourselves.  We must make the decision to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, once again, and let down that brick wall that we have built to protect ourselves from the betrayal.  One must be committed to giving and building trust as it is often a long and strenuous process.  An important concept to remember is that by giving someone your trust again, you are not condoning or excusing their behavior.  By giving someone your trust, you are giving them the benefit of a doubt.  It is also a way to regain that lost power and control because you are choosing to let go of the betrayal.  Just because trust is given does not mean you have to give it to everyone.  When choosing to give your trust make sure you are looking for red flags, are checking for safety, and are setting boundaries. If you still need help giving trust, you can always contact your local therapist’s office.

“Only a confident, secure, courageous person can choose to trust.”

-Richard Fagerlin

Rebuilding Your Relationship When Dealing with Addiction by Paige Johnson

Addiction ruins things. It can ruin your health, it can ruin your bank account, and it can ruin your reputation. One of the things many people see ruined by addiction is their relationships. While dealing with an addiction, you may do things that erode trust between you and your partner; things like infidelity. In fact, in a 2014 article published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, almost half of the alcohol addicts surveyed had also gone through with a divorce at some point in their lives.

The sad truth is you may not be able to repair the damage done to your relationship. Your partner may feel too hurt with too much trust lost to go back to the way things were. If they decide to walk away, there’s nothing you can do about it with the exception of acceptance.

On the other hand, some people feel such a sense of guilt for the things they did due to their addiction, they want to end their relationship as a way of atonement. It’s important not to make any major life changes during your first year of recovery. This includes ending a major relationship such as your marriage as well as starting a new one. Your road to recovery may be the thing that helps save your marriage.

Know Things Have Changed

When you recover from addiction, there’s no going back to the way things used to be. While you may feel the desire to work toward a simpler time in the past, there’s no possible way to get there so accepting your position is crucial. You may not even realize all the ways your behavior has impacted your relationship.

Your partner had to grow and change to deal with watching your self-destruction. They may seem cold and callous when they were once warm and loving. It’s unfair for you to expect them to be the same after all this time, so accept the place they are at now.

Work to Mend What Is Broken

Chances are, you and your addiction did more than your fair share of destruction in your relationship. Some people miss important events or disappear for weeks at a time when they’re on a bender. Others stick around and show up, only to act irrationally and violently towards the ones they love. And some relationships have to face the ultimate test after one of the parties cheats on the other.

Infidelity is traumatizing. It causes the wronged party to question you, your relationship, and themselves. If you committed adultery and have come clean to your partner, it will take time to rebuild the trust that is now lost. To build this trust, you must be completely honest with your partner. This is difficult for many people as addicts have a hard time being honest with themselves. However, the work is necessary if you want to save your relationship.

Accept Responsibility for Your Actions

You will not be able to move on if you do not accept responsibility for the things you’ve done. This means you cannot play the victim when you relate to your partner why you’ve done said things. Life is tough; we all have to deal with our own traumas every day. Trying to use your own traumas as a scapegoat for your behavior only shows that you are not ready to be honest and move on from your addiction.

Listen to Your Partner

While you are going through recovery, you will be talking a lot. You talk to your therapist, you talk to your group, and you talk to your higher power. When it comes to rebuilding your romantic relationship, it is time to listen. Take in everything they have to say and ask questions when you need clarification. It may be difficult to have to listen to all the ways you hurt him or her, but the pain is a fraction of what they felt when you were doing it.

The key to rebuilding your relationship during recovery is acceptance. You must accept the continuation of time and how it changes people. You need to accept that the process will be long and arduous. You need to accept responsibility for what you’ve done and the communication your partner offers you. But in the end, you must also accept forgiveness from yourself. Forgiving yourself is the only way to truly open yourself to being forgiven by your partner so you can rebuild your loving relationship.

Paige Johnson calls herself a fitness nerd. She prides in doing strength training, cycling, and yoga. She is a personal trainer and regular contributor to LearnFit.org.

Coping Skills With Our 5 Senses

Coping Skills are those strategies that we use to deal and process life stressors, conflict and emotions. Coping skills can range from positive and healthy to negative and unhealthy, all depending on how they are used. Do your current coping skills help you overcome and manage stress and emotional turmoil? Or do they hide issues and emotions that are usually not worked through? Using healthy coping strategies on a regular basis will help provide balance in your overall mental health and provide support when life gets harder. If you already use coping skills on a regular basis, congratulations, keep adding and refreshing more skills to your coping spectrum!

Being in the mental health profession, I have been able to observe coping skills that have been effective for many of my clients. Provided below are some of these coping skills that I have either utilized myself or seen to be helpful for others. Read the ideas below and explore what unique combination of coping skills could help you today!
 
Physical
• Chew a piece of ice or eat some ice cream or drink cold water
• Breathe! Take 5 deep breaths: think about releasing tension and negative thoughts each time you exhale.
• Move Around: stretch, take a walk, exercise
• Take a shower, feel the warmth and imagine your anxiety washing away
• Hug a friend or a family member

Visual
• Watch your favorite movie or comedy show
• Allow yourself to daydream for 10 minutes
• Look at pretty things: flowers, art, or study the sky
• Paint, draw or doodle
• Look through old pictures
 
Olfactory
• Peel an orange or lemon and notice the smell of the oils
• Place a fragrance that is pleasant for you on your wrist: lavender, peppermint of favorite perfume
• Do some baking-enjoy the mixture of aromas and soothing movements of mixing ingredients
• Make herbal tea and focus on the smell while you enjoy your drink
 
Hearing
• Listen to music that helps soothe you
• Read a quote or favorite scripture out loud
• Sing
• Pause and listen to 3 sounds you hear around you (Ie..rain drops, wind, laughter)
 
Speech
• Have a conversation with someone who listens and you can trust
• Name 5 positive things in your life
• Write yourself an “I love you because…” letter
• Make a to-do list: focus on top 3 to decrease feeling overwhelmed
 

Surviving the Damages from an Affair

What exactly is an affair?  Many people have different definitions for this word.  Some people believe an affair is having a sexual relationship with someone outside of the relationship, others believe becoming emotionally attached to someone else is considered having an affair, while some believe the act of watching pornography could be considered an affair.  This is why it is so important to communicate individual expectations with your partner in where healthy boundaries and limits can be established in order to protect your relationship.  

If an affair within the relationship does occur, it can be very detrimental to the relationship, as well as to the non-offending partner.  However, just because damage has been done, does not mean it cannot be repaired!  It won’t happen overnight, but with the guidance and support of a skilled professional, it can be done.

You may be asking yourself, “How?”  A licensed therapist will be able to help the couple identify the underlying contributions to the affair.  The shared responsibility of these contributions may not be equal; however, addressing each partner’s role in the relationship could provide clues on issues that weakened the relationship prior to the affair.  This can help the couple prevent these circumstances in the future.  A therapist will also help the couple with improving their communication patterns.  They will learn how to “communicate more sensitively, how to listen with more respect, how to talk about sensitive issues without anger or criticism, and how to offer more positivity…” (Heitler, 2011).  The most difficult aspects of surviving the affair are forgiveness and trust.  Be prepared for the long haul while repairing these pieces.  It can, however, be done while working with a therapist through the anger, pain, and fears. 

Once the communication gate is open and flowing, and the partners have repaired trust, it may be time to explore restoring the couple’s intimacy.  In the beginning, sexual intimacy may be compared to the intimacy that occurred during the affair.  The therapist can help the couple come back together in order to achieve more enjoyable and pleasurable intimacy that may have been missing or lacking previously.  

With all of this being said, in order for the couple to survive this rainstorm, both partners have to be willing to repair the damages together.  This can all be done with the support and help from a professional therapist.  Some couples even report developing an even stronger and more intimate relationship after surviving the affair!

References:

Bloom, Charlie & Bloom, Linda. (2010, May 10). Is there (marital) life after an affair? [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201005/is-there-marital-life-after-affair

Heitler, Susan. (2011, Nov 1). Recovery from an affair. [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201111/recovery-affair

McCarthy, Barry W. (2012, Jan 2). Sexual recovery from an extramarital affair. [Web log post] Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/whats-your-sexual-style/201201/sexual-recovery-extramarital-affair

Hey! I'm Grace!

My name is Grace, and I am thrilled to be a therapist at Reconnecting Relationships Therapy. 

I would like to share with you a little of my background and experiences that has brought me to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. To be completely honest I would have not started the path to become a therapist if were not for other therapists that touched my life. They believed in my potential and dedicated their time to strengthen my God-given qualities. Getting to know other therapists in my life made me realize they all genuinely respected me as an individual, and were rooting for my success. Today, I apply that valuable lesson with every client that I get to work with. No matter my client’s background, faith, culture or past/current hardships, they deserve my respect and support to reach their personal goals! 

My approach in therapy is to empower my clients by using their natural strengths and introducing additional skills to overcome various life struggles. I do this by using a family systems model that encourages healthy communication, respect, clear boundaries, and flexibility to develop healthy relationships with self and others. 

I’ve been married for three years and do not have children. However, I do have a Papillion named Simba that I completely adore! My favorite things to do are spending time with family and friends and traveling. I have found a passion in traveling to new countries as I come to learn and experience new cultures and different ways of living life. 

Thank you for taking the time to know me on a more personal level. If you have not had an opportunity to read the self-introductions of the other therapists at RRT, I encourage you to do so. 

Please keep coming back to our blog!  We plan to continue sharing a variety of resources that encourage self-growth and positive relationships.